She Who Dares
by lucklessforhim
Summary: I don't know what I've done, or if I like what I've begun. But something told me to run, and honey you know me it's all or none. / "Puck dates Rachel their junior year of college. That's the catalyst." / Puck/Quinn primary pairing!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or any of it's characters and I am making no money writing this. It's just for fun. Title and summary taken from "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins._

* * *

Puck dates Rachel their junior year of college. That's the catalyst.

For years they had all quietly coexisted together in what felt like a continuation of high school, just with more alcohol. They all tried new things, found new hobbies, and made new friends. After all, Ohio State was a lot bigger than William McKinley High. They saw less and less of each other, and that was okay. That was what was supposed to happen. Or, at least, that's what everyone told them.

But then Puck started dating Rachel again. Like, _seriously_ dating her, and that's when Quinn started to lose her shit.

Over the years she became able to tolerate Rachel, and even bordered on liking her sometimes. But mostly that came from not having to see her every single day. So, it wasn't necessarily Rachel that Quinn had a problem with.

Or maybe it was Rachel. Maybe she didn't like that Puck was finally seriously dating the nice Jewish girl his mom had always pushed for. Maybe she didn't like that Rachel was finally maturing and becoming the kind of girl that would be good for Puck. Maybe it was the fact that, once again, Quinn felt like Rachel had everything she ever wanted.

See, it all started when they all got back to Columbus after winter break. Over break, Quinn had heard through the grapevine in Lima (bless her mom and her gossip addiction) that the Puckermans and the Berrys had spent part of Hanukkah together. She didn't think much of it...at first. But then, the week that school started, she saw Rachel and Puck together outside the student union. Rachel was holding a paper cup from the coffee shop in gloved hands close to her face and Puck had his arms around her, keeping her warm. They were both wearing the kind of smile that people in love share with one another.

Quinn stood there in shock for a moment, her revised schedule crumpling in her fist. All she could think was that she could still remember a time when that smile was for her and her alone. And then she just felt sick. Because he didn't even think to _tell her himself_.

Maybe it was naive, but she always thought that when Puck finally decided he was mature enough for an adult relationship, he would come to her. That didn't happen, and Quinn was thrown off her game.

For the next few months Quinn walked around, went through every aspect of her life, with a constant, nearly unbearable weight in her chest. She would find herself thinking about him, and him being with _her_, way too often. It was distracting, and the weight finally got to a point where she couldn't stand it anymore.

She does the only thing she can, given the circumstances. She shows up at his apartment, five years to the day after the best worst day of her life, drunk. She's not tipsy, she's not buzzed; she's stupid, crying, and completely drunk.

It's raining and she's soaked by the time she reaches his door, dress clinging clumsily to her small body. She knocks (well, _ bangs _is really more like it), and anxiously waits for him to answer, gripping the railing of the walkway outside his door so hard that her knuckles turn white and she feels the bones in her hand grind against the metal bar.

He answers, and at first he looks pissed (why the hell was someone banging on his door at 11:00 at night?) but then once he sees that it's her, he just looks confused. And he looks worried, which only makes Quinn cry harder.

"Quinn? Are you okay?" There's a careful tone to the question because he knows her way too well. If everything were okay, she wouldn't be here.

She's about to answer him, but through the open door Quinn catches a glimpse of Rachel, and all of a sudden she realizes that she doesn't want to mess this up for him. He deserves to be happy, even if it's without her.

"Um." She swallows a new wave of tears. "I'm sorry. I-I-I shouldn't have come here," she stutters before turning back and quickly descending the stairs.

"Wait-!" he calls, starting to follow.

"I'm sorry!" she wails, already halfway down the stairs.

She trips a little on the last step, and that's when he races after her. He runs, and even barefoot, he catches up with her in the middle of the parking lot. He grabs her arm, spins her around to look in her eyes, and yells. He just...screams at her.

"What the hell are you thinking, Quinn?"

She knows she doesn't have an answer to that, because she wasn't thinking. She never thinks when it comes to him, and that's been her problem since the very beginning. She used to worry that it was a bad thing, something they couldn't survive, but now she's not so sure.

"I don't know!" she yells back. She shakes off his grip and runs through the deep puddles in the parking lot to her car.

She's fumbling with the keys on her key ring, biting her lip, trying to see through rain and tears and too many gin and tonics when he pins her against the car, his hand gripping her shoulder to turn her around.

"Hey! You don't have to say it. I'm leaving, okay?"

"No, you're not. Not like this," he hisses, his breath hot against her ear. He's angry and she can see that all too clearly as he pries the keys from her grip. "What, you think I'm just gonna let you kill yourself? This day is hard enough as it is, Quinn."

She just stares at him for an excruciatingly long moment, the tears coming faster now. She doesn't even try to hold them back now. She just can't.

He takes her arm again to lead her back to the apartment and they get about five steps from the car before she stops. She just...stops, refuses to go any farther.

He looks over at her and asks, "What the hell? Did you forget that it's raining?"

"Why her?" She asks the question just as a huge roll of thunder echoes around them, and she can't decide whether she hopes he hears her wrong or not.

"What do you mean?" he asks in response, because he doesn't have a real answer.

"I waited for you to get your shit together for _five years_, and you choose her?_ Rachel_?" she asks, deciding that if she comes away from this night with nothing else, she needs an answer.

"Whoa. You _waited_?" She could see he was ready for a fight now. This, they were good at. Him rescuing her from herself? Not so much. He starts bitterly listing the guys she's dated since him. "Sam, Finn, that kid Michael from your church, Finn again, Travis, that frat douche Jeremy-"

"Were _distractions_!" she screams over him.

"Distractions from what?" he demands back.

"From loving you, wanting you, not being able to be with you...Take your fucking pick, Noah," she shouts bitterly.

"You love me?" he asks, still borderline angry.

"Yes." Isn't that what she's been trying to tell him?

"You want to be with me?" It was just like he was mocking her now.

"Yes!" she screams at him, crying.

"Okay," he says, taking her hand to lead her back to his apartment.

"Wait...What just happened?" She was way too drunk to process this shit. But she just follows his steps as best she can, still allowing herself to be dragged by the hand back to his apartment like a wayward child

"I want to be with you, too." He looks at her like that should be obvious, and she can't help but feel confused and annoyed.

"What about Rachel?" she asks quietly. Quinn's a bitch, she'll admit that to anyone, but she never really meant to steal Puck. She didn't want to hurt Rachel, she just didn't...think.

"We're gonna talk about this again when you're sober, and if you still want to give it another shot, I'll talk to Rachel after that," he responds just as quietly.

As they walk up the last few steps and he moves to open the door for her, Quinn wonders when he got so responsible. That's the same moment when she's sure she wants this.

Rachel is still there, sitting serenely on the couch, but there's a look on her face like she knows she's about to be heartbroken.

"Everything okay, Noah?" She asks the question so quietly and carefully that Quinn knows she feels the shift in the air between the three of them.

Rachel stares at her as Puck goes to grab Quinn a spare pair of boxers and an old t-shirt to sleep in, and all Quinn can do is fiddle with the hem of her dress under the heat of Rachel's gaze.

Puck comes back into the living room, and notices the looks passing between Rachel and Quinn.

"Yeah, everything's fine," he answers Rachel, handing the clothes and a towel to Quinn. "Quinn is gonna stay the night on the couch."

"Okay," is all Rachel says before taking Puck's hand and leading him back to his bedroom.

Quinn flops down on the couch with a huge sigh and thinks about what just happened, what she just did.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Quinn is lying on the couch, now showered and changed, watching the clock on Puck's cable box and still thinking about how this day might have changed her life for a second time. That's when she hears Rachel as she quietly closes the bedroom door behind her and pads across the apartment to the front door.

Quinn sits up and calls her name, stopping her from the graceful exit she was trying to stage.

"I'm sorry...for showing up like that," she says softly, sincerely, fiddling with the edge of the blanket she was wrapped up in.

"It's okay," Rachel says, even though they both know it really isn't. Even though they both know Quinn can see how red her eyes are, even in the faint light of the apartment.

"I just...wanted you to know that. That I'm really sorry," Quinn whispers, feeling the guilt start to overwhelm her.

"I know," is all Rachel says before slipping silently out the door.

Quinn stares at the door after she leaves. She has no idea what this means, or what's going to happen tomorrow. She thinks she feels hope for the first time in a long time, but the feeling is so foreign that she's not sure. All she knows is she's so tired of missing him.

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_Author's Note: Two more chapters of this on the way! Please, leave me a review and let me know what you think. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**Note:** The rating of this story has gone up to M, and for a good reason. ;-)_

_Thank you very much to all the people that reviewed that I couldn't reply to, and to the people who subscribed to this story! It really means a lot!_

_**Disclaimer:** I do not own Glee or any of it's characters and I am making no money writing this. It's just for fun. Title and summary taken from "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins._

* * *

The next morning Quinn wakes up to a bowl of Cocoa Puffs, a cup of coffee with light cream, no sugar, and Puck staring at her from the kitchen doorway.

"They're still your favorite, right?" he asks softly.

"I can't believe you remember," she laughs gently, reaching for the coffee.

"Kinda hard to forget," he comments, moving to sit on the coffee table in front of her. "It was all you would eat for like, three weeks," he chuckles.

There's a moment, then. They both just look at each other and don't know what to say. Because, she showed up drunk last night and ran off his girlfriend. Because, he was finally _allowed_ to look at her after living separately for so long.

Quinn pulls her eyes away from his and decides she needs to take the plunge and see where they stand.

"I saw Rachel leave last night," she says quietly, cradling the coffee cup close to her face.

She notices a look on his face when she says that, sees something flicker behind his eyes. But he just nods, says nothing.

"I thought you were going to wait?" she asks gently.

"I was. She...ended it," he says with a tone that makes it clear to her that the decision was final, on both their parts.

"Why?" Immediately after the question leaves her lips, she feels like an idiot. She _knew _why. Everything between Rachel and Noah had been fine until she came along, barging into their business and banging on his door in the middle of the night. But, he answers her anyway.

"She said we couldn't be together so long as you and me had...unresolved history."

Quinn remembers the look on Rachel's face as she was leaving the night before, and she immediately starts to tear up, feeling like she might drown in the guilt starting to wash over her.

"I never meant to hurt her," she says adamantly. "I just...wasn't thinking."

"Hey," he says, brushing a tear from her cheek. "I know you didn't mean to hurt her. Besides, Rachel's strong. She'll be alright."

Quinn realizes then what she only started to grasp the night before. She doesn't know how it took this long for her to get it. After all, looking back, she could see it building all the way from sophomore year of high school.

"You love her, don't you?" she asks quietly.

He shrugs, but says, "Not as much as I love you. But, yeah, I really care about her. I respect her."

That confession really hits home with Quinn. He _respects_ Rachel. This is not the same Puck that she had to constantly watch and monitor, the one that chased anything in a skirt, the one that she never completely trusted. This is someone different. This is Noah.

"I'm sorry," she says quietly, setting the coffee aside, unable to meet his gaze.

He just sighs and gently lifts her chin to look into her eyes.

"I gotta let you in on a secret," he tells her, taking hold of her hand. "It's always been you. You with Finn, you with Sam, every other guy. I never really forgave myself for fucking things up the first time."

"You weren't really the problem," she tells him slowly. "It was just...too much. We were too young."

He nods, and she knows by the look in his eyes that the truth of those words still stings five years after the fact.

She tightens her grip around his hand and tells him, "You should really ease up on yourself. You've grown so much, and I am so proud of you."

He pulls her closer, kisses her for the first time in so long that she can't remember how much time has passed since the last time. It feels like coming home, and she wraps her arms around his neck, trying to drag the moment out for as long as possible.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

He backs her through the open door to his bedroom, kissing her hungrily. His kisses were something she had sorely missed in her time apart from him. Now, standing pressed against him with one of his hands tangled in her hair and the other gripping her ass, she remembers vividly the last time she was in this situation.

It was the day before Thanksgiving Break, freshman year of college. She was lonely, not fitting in the way she expected she would. So she'd gone to the only place she ever felt she belonged...his arms.

They'd had sex that night in his tiny university-provided bed, one of her hair ties hanging on the doorknob so his roommate wouldn't interrupt.

Afterwards, lying wrapped up in his blue plaid sheets, she felt like she had just made a huge mistake. It wasn't supposed to matter how good he made her feel, because he was all wrong for her. He was temptation, and once again, she had failed the test.

She knew she wouldn't feel like that this time. The past few months had been a painful reminder that the only thing that mattered was that he made her feel loved, and he was the only one that really understood her.

She kisses him back with just as much feeling, her tongue moving with his. He breaks away to bury his face in her neck and kiss his favorite spot, just behind her pulse point underneath her ear.

"Go lie down on the bed," she commands softly, kiss swollen lips brushing his ear.

He pulls back, surprised, but when she just raises one delicate eyebrow in response, he complies.

The bed never got made in the morning and the comforter was bunched down at the foot of the mattress, the sheets tossed off to one side. He makes his way over to the disheveled bed and reclines on the pillows piled up against the oak headboard.

"The sheets are clean, right?" she asks, getting a good look at the bed for the first time.

He chuckles softly, says, "Washed yesterday, and I'm the only one that's slept in them."

She smiles back at him for indulging her, and feels more sure about this than she had before, even though she didn't think that was possible.

They lock eyes for a long moment before she decides to take the plunge.

She slides Puck's boxers and her panties down her legs and suddenly she's standing in front of him in nothing but a McKinley Titans football shirt. She hears him sigh when she ducks her head and steps out of the pool of clothing.

She meets his eyes for a second and blushes, her navy blue toenails digging into his carpet anxiously.

Quinn carefully climbs onto the bed and slowly slides her body up Puck's so that she's straddling his thighs. His hand comes up to cup her cheek gently while he looks into her eyes.

"Gorgeous," he murmurs, bringing her head down to kiss her long and deep.

She rocks her hips against his, moaning. Suddenly he breaks away from her lips, sitting up a little, and looks seriously into her eyes, searching for something.

"What?" she asks impatiently, wishing they were still kissing.

"Are you _sure_?" he asks firmly.

"_Absolutely_," she swears, pushing him back down, and kissing him again.

This time when she rocks against him, his hands grip her hips and he grinds back against her just as hard.

What little clothing they're wearing gets tossed aside without a care, and he flips them over, covers her naked body with his.

As he sinks into her, he whispers, "Missed you," against her lips before kissing her.

"Me, too," she gasps as she feels him begin to move.

He sets a rhythm, and with each thrust of his hips she marvels at how right being with him always feels, how well they fit together. He's sprawled above her, his weight supported on the tanned, muscular forearms resting on either side of her. His big, warm, calloused hands dig into her shoulder and tangle in her hair while his lips move over her face, her neck, her chest.

He hits a particularly sensitive spot, the delicious friction causing her to gasp suddenly and tighten her hold on him. He moans, low and guttural, the force of it reverberating in his chest and hers, as he sinks even deeper into her.

He speeds up his thrusts, her gasping moans of approval echoing in the bright room. His lips move to nip and suck at her neck, marking her, and one of his hands trails down to her breast. The feel of his lips on her neck, his rough palm grazing her nipple, and his cock pounding into her is a perfect storm, more than enough to send Quinn tumbling over the edge.

He comes a moment later, his mouth moaning into hers while she kisses him and her body holds him still, deep inside.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was one of the most tense conversations of her life, only made all the more awkward by the fact that they were naked while having it. But, she figures, getting to a place where she could start a healthy relationship with him was never going to be easy.

.

_"I've _wanted_ to be with you for five years, but I could never trust you. Fuck, I couldn't even trust you not to-"_

_"'Not to' what, Quinn?" he demands stoically. _

_"You know what," she whispers, one tear trailing down her cheek. _

_.  
_

_"I can't believe you didn't run to _Finn_ when Rachel and I got together," he remarks bitterly, rolling his eyes. _

_It stung to hear, but she had to admit the truth of the statement. Seeking solace with Finn when things got hard was pretty much second nature to her at this point. He was easy to manipulate and she never truly got invested, so there was practically no risk to the relationship. _

_"I deserve that," she admits._

_.  
_

_"If we're really going to give this try, I have to be able to trust you," she tells him, staring hard into his eyes._

_"Likewise," he says, crossing his arms over his chest. _

_"_Excuse_ me?" she demands, raising an eyebrow, practically yelling. _

_"Oh, don't play dumb, darlin'. You have got _quite_ the history with infidelity, and I _never _cheated on you while we were together," he yells back. _

_"I never cheated on _you_!" she screams. _

_"Well, yeah, but-" He somehow manages to stop himself from saying something _really_ stupid._

_"Finish it," she commands, a clipped edge to her voice. _

_"Fine. You were pregnant while you were with me, and aside from that we weren't together for very long."_

_.  
_

Finally, though, they make the decision to just be together, and love each other, and try their best. They both agree to be better to one another than they were before, and they hope that some time apart and some added maturity are enough to make it work this time.

"So...we're together?" she asks slowly, hesitantly. She's studying his face from across the bed, and she feels so stupid for not talking about this _before_ she had sex with him.

"We're most definitely together," he confirms with a grin. "But," he adds, pulling her down to lie next to him, "You're gonna have to give me some time to ease my mom into this."

She nods because she's not sure she can say anything without tearing up again. He's planning to tell his mom that he's back together with the shiksa that he knocked up in tenth grade. That tells her, more than his other declarations did, that he's in it for the long haul this time. He's committed.

She laughs softly and presses her face against his bare chest, kissing his collarbone.

"I'm sure she'll be _so _glad to have me back in her baby boy's life," she remarks sarcastically.

"She'll get over it," he shrugs.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

They fall asleep tangled up in a messy embrace, spent from all the events of the past twelve hours, emotional and physical.

Quinn wakes with a start, forgetting for a moment that she's not in her own bed. She looks over, still trying to catch her breath, and sees Puck, the same maroon sheet covering her breasts draped over his hips.

She smiles and lies back down next to him, one hand reaching out to trace a pattern across his shoulder. Her dancing fingers reach his nipple ring and she sees him smile.

"You're awake," she accuses playfully.

"I am," he says, taking her hand and pressing it to his lips. "Wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out," he confesses.

She's silent for a moment. She smiles and tries to memorize his face in the bright light of early afternoon. Then she sighs.

"I have to go," she says sadly, pulling away from him.

"No," he commands, grasping her hips and pulling her back against him.

She groans, feeling his lips blazing a hot trail across her neck.

"I _really_ have to go," she says again, trying to keep hold of what little willpower she had left.

He stops kissing her. "Really?" he asks.

"Really," she confirms sadly. "I need to check my phone and shower and make sure my roommate knows I'm not dead," she laughs.

"You'll come back, right?" he asks seriously.

She turns in his arms, twists her body further into his, and takes his face in her hands, kissing him soundly.

"As soon as I can," she promises, resting her forehead against his.

He reluctantly lets her go, and she moves about the apartment, gathering her clothes from the night before (and her panties from his floor).

She dresses silently in front of him, slipping on her underwear and then sliding her dress over her body. She turns to him, pulling her long, honey-blonde hair over one shoulder as an invitation for him to zip her up.

He stands behind her, tugging gently on the zipper, his fingers brushing along the smooth, soft skin of her back. He wraps his arms around her fully-dressed form and holds her close for a minute. Then he kisses her cheek and whispers, "I'll walk you out."

She nods, and holds his hand the entire way back to her car, because she can't really remember where she parked last night and he doesn't want to let her go.

She stands in the space of her open door, ready to climb in, while he kisses her goodbye. She thinks she must look ridiculous, clinging to a guy dressed only in plaid boxers standing in the middle of a parking lot in the middle of the afternoon, but she can't bring herself to care. She loves him.

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_**Note:** Thank you for reading! Please, leave me a review and let me know what you think!_


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